Monday, October 5, 2009

Part of my heart is missing...

This week it has been 10 years since I told my mom goodbye. October 3, 1999, Hortencia Clifton left this earth, and I am sure was welcomed into heaven. She received a new body and all sickness and pain was gone forevermore. Wonderful for her, but since she left there is a part of my heart that is missing. The wave of grief ebbs and flows, and today is one of those days when it is painful.

She was my hero, even though it wasn't until after I became an adult that I realized this. She did not receive much education, but she was very savvy about the things that really mattered. She never had much in the way of belongings, but what she had she worked hard for. She didn't have much family; her own mother died when she was only a child, but she knew how to make others feel special.

She sacrificed so much for me to have a better life. She worked very hard so that I could have much more than she ever had. It was very important to her that I have a good education, and I only wish she would have been here to see me graduate from college (even if it was a long time coming).

She set an example for me of what it is to be a giver. Even though she didn't have much, she was always giving to others. It usually wasn't much--a trinket, clothes, a homemade gift, or food--but she did it with love. She taught me about the love of God.

We didn't always see eye to eye, and I didn't always appreciate everything she did. But I loved her and respected her, and I hope that I am passing her legacy on to my children and grandchildren. I miss her so much and look forward to the day when I will see her again.